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He stayed inside- video games, andreading. His friends faded away. He lost all interest in doing much morethan staying alive, and even that was weak. His family loved him, heknew that without a doubt, both his parents had been there for him(almost died for him, and tried to kill a man). His sister slept at hisbed side and in his bed to ward off the demons that came in the nightfor him in his dreams. She held him when he needed her the most.The courts award James everything that Colburn had- the house, he gaveto the fire department to burn in a practice, the land donated to achurch that wanted to make it into a park. The money went into a collegefund and to pay for the therapists that he barely went to see.Because of all of this, James was a late bloomer to the idea ofmasturbation and being with a girl.It was around the time that his father went off on that long trip thatJames woke to a mess in his bed. The following day he found anothererection, he knew what to do because he had done. ..”She turned her body to face me and put her hands on my knees. “Paul, when was the last time you went to see them? When was the last time you spoke to them?”I shrugged. “Honestly, I can’t remember. I try not to go. You know ... It’s ... It’s too much.”“Exactly. You need to go. To get it out of your system. You need to be able to go and see them without it being a Big Deal. Trust me, it helps. Whenever I have something I’m not sure about or something I’m worried about, I go and talk to Daddy. It helps. It really does. Trust me. And besides, if you can’t go see them today, of all days...” Now she shrugged. “Look, if you really, really don’t want to go, then we’ll skip it. But I think you should. Even if it’s just for five minutes.”I nodded. It was all I could do. I didn’t trust myself to speak.The cemetery was on the edge of town, opposite The Rec. Clarissa parked by the squat building that served as a chapel and administration building, got out and extracted the flowers from the back.
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